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Thanks, Reuben. Here it is again, with corrections- The rookie Warden stormed into the office, slamming the door. “I get it, Lieutenant. You're a mud-skinned Troll and hate me for being an Elf. Good! I hate you too. But the Commander put me on your squad and we have to work together.” The Lieutenant...

The second half of the assignment. Turn the dialogue into a vignette with 250 words or less- The Warden stormed into the office, slamming the door. “I get it, Lieutenant. You're a mud-skinned Troll and hate me for being an Elf. Good! I hate you too. But the Commander put me on your squad and we have...

If I may be permitted, here's the re-write of my dialogue. Critiques welcome. Eager, the characters aren't just upset with each other. They hate each other. There's a story why Trolls and Elves hate each other, but that's for another time. The rookie Warden stormed into the office, slamming the door...

Folks, whatever I post on this forum, feel free to critique. Because I'm getting too old to work on aircraft, I need to sharpen my writing skills (and quick ) and can't do that in a vacuum or an echo chamber. I can stab at the keyboard and make words appear on the screen, but beyond that, I don't kn...

Reuben,
The last two lines confuse me as well. It was at the end of a long day and my brain was mush when I posted. I agree with you, they need to be reworked.

Wulf,
Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to help.

I'll give it another go, this time writing twelve lines rather than the twelve sentences I wrote before- an important distinction. I'll get to the second part of the assignment later. For now, it's time to sleep. Got work tomorrow. --------------------------------------------------------------------...

Thank you, Eager. Thank you Wulf. I followed the links to read the exercises in the Super Secrets thread. I really like the Lincoln Lawyer (and Bosch series by Michael Connelly and am running through The Fifth Witness (on Audible) to listen to the dialogue. This is an area I definitely need improvem...

Interesting exercise. Good and useful critiques in this thread. I'll give it a go. A bit of dialogue from a short story I'm working on- “I lost my beautiful egg,” Thom moaned, brushing at the yoke running down his birthday coat. “Who are you and why, of all things, did you crack an egg over my head?...