Jibber Jabber - Q1 - 29

[Kary English]

*erects transparent, marshmallow-proof shield*

*zips herself into flame-proof suit*

*gets out calculator and colored markers and begins to write equations on her side of shield while mumbling to herself*

.. assuming 1,200 entries per quarter... and an 85% rejection rate (10 - 15% HMs, folding in the 1-2% of semi and higher)...

1,200 x .85 = 1020 rejections, roughly

1020 x .01 = 10.2

So assuming these calculations are in the right ballpark, and assuming Joni's 99% figure is accurate, there are approximately 10 more rejections to be sent out.

We have 16 people waiting, and no way of knowing how many non-forum entrants there are.

*chews fingernails*

3 winners, 5 (non-winning) finalists, 10 semis and maybe 4 or 5 SHMs, so roughly 22 higher tier awards (including winners) to be distributed.

Well, heck if I know! But I would say that those of us waiting have a 2 to 1 chance of getting a higher tier award (SHM or higher) as opposed to a rejection.

ETA: Odds of HMs for those who haven't heard yet cannot be calculated due to lack of data.

[Jennifer Hicks]

Well, heck if I know! But I would say that those of us waiting have a 2 to 1 chance of getting a higher tier award instead of a rejection.

I'd say that's probably true for those who submitted electronically. For us LAMPS, though, not so much. None of us have received responses (as far as I've heard). Which means, taken as a subgroup, most of us probably still have rejections coming.

[Kary English]

I'm filtering Hazlett's list:

((And Kary is rearranging it and contest history))

8 LAMPS
Tina - (no data)
Marina - (2xF, 2xHM)
Kary - (first time sub)
Dustin - (1xF, 2xHM)
Jennifer Hicks (1xSF, 1xSHM, 6xHM)
Isto - (no data)
Preston (2xHM)
gwasch - (no data)

5 HOLD PILE
Francis Bruno (1xSF)
Izanobu - (1xSF, 2xSHM, 6xHM)
The Happy Snappy Gator (1xSF, 2xHM)
onelowerlight - (no data)*
MichaelB - (no data)

2 NNiNN
Martin Shoemaker (1xF, 1xSF, 2xHM)
DavidK (no data)

Dr. Phil - ??

Names with contest history added are in bold. If I've got your contest history wrong (or missing), let me know.This is a pretty nice list, folks. It's going to be fun watching the final results come in.

[gower21]

Under my name it says "no data" -- I've had three entries, all rejections.

Yeah, it will be interesting to see who gets what when the results come in since the LAMPs will most likely have been read by someone different. Good Luck to everyone! Here's to results this week!

And DavidK has gotten some HM's I think...If I'm thinking of the right guy. And I think gwasch has been Finalist at least once. Maybe they will come on and give their stats.

[DavidK]

I've got 1 HM which I then sold to After The World - Black House Comics...

I'd rather take bets on who thinks it's going to be this Thursday rather than who in the LAMPS gets what via snail-mail / what the 'HOLD' means / why Martin and I have a NNINN?

I bet we DON'T hear this week - like I said last week. It's going to be NEXT week! Or as late as the week after that!

[Isto]

I'm filtering Hazlett's list:

((And Kary is rearranging it and contest history))

8 LAMPS
Tina - (no data)
Marina - (2xF, 2xHM)
Kary - (first time sub)
Dustin - (1xF, 2xHM)
Jennifer Hicks (1xSF, 1xSHM, 6xHM)
Isto - (no data)
Preston (2xHM)
gwasch - (no data)

5 HOLD PILE
Francis Bruno (1xSF)
Izanobu - (1xSF, 2xSHM, 6xHM)
The Happy Snappy Gator (1xSF, 2xHM)
onelowerlight - (no data)*
MichaelB - (no data)

2 NNiNN
Martin Shoemaker (1xF, 1xSF, 2xHM)
DavidK (no data)

Dr. Phil - ??

Names with contest history added are in bold. If I've got your contest history wrong (or missing), let me know.This is a pretty nice list, folks. It's going to be fun watching the final results come in.

This is a first time submit for me, too.

[Michael B]

2XSF, 3XHM (I believe). Q3 is my last quarter for eligibility So all of you except Annie need to not be greedy and let me win!

[Kary English]

((And Kary is rearranging it and adding contest history))

8 LAMPS
Tina - (R)
Marina - (2xF, 2xHM)
Kary - (first time sub)
Dustin - (1xF, 2xHM)
Jennifer Hicks (1xSF, 1xSHM, 6xHM)
Isto - (first time sub)
Preston (2xHM)
gwasch - (no data)

5 HOLD PILE
Francis Bruno (1xSF)
Izanobu - (1xSF, 2xSHM, 6xHM)
The Happy Snappy Gator (1xSF, 2xHM)
onelowerlight - (no data)*
MichaelB - (2XSF, 3XHM)

2 NNiNN
Martin Shoemaker (1xF, 1xSF, 2xHM)
DavidK (1 HM)

Dr. Phil - ??

Names with contest history added are in bold. If I've got your contest history wrong (or missing), let me know.This is a pretty nice list, folks. It's going to be fun watching the final results come in.

Think I got everybody... but it's before coffee, so take that into consideration.

DavidK and Martin didn't get hold messaages, and they aren't LAMPS (that I know of) so they don't fit in either pile. Dr. Phil has a lengthy (!) contest history but I don't know it all, nor do I know if he's still in, if he got a hold msg., etc.

[francisbruno]

And yet the wait keeps killing me :) I guess it's better than the current known alternatives...
Off to fix up my SF to apply to Viable Paradise.

[Kary English]

Indeed. My fussing about with lists is a distraction along the lines of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

[francisbruno]

I'll get the band back together.

[onelowerlight]

I submitted a story to WOTF like four years ago, but it got a form rejection. I tend to write (and read) more novels than short stories.

[Rebecca Birch]

I had a dream last night that they sent out the results (including the winners for the quarter) and francisbruno and Martin were two of the winners (didn't see the third). Don't rely too much on my dream-state prognostications however, because I ended up with a Silver HM, even though I've already gotten rejected!

Good luck to everyone still in the game and I wish you all much fortitude in your waiting.

[francisbruno]

I had a dream last night that they sent out the results (including the winners for the quarter) and francisbruno and Martin were two of the winners (didn't see the third). Don't rely too much on my dream-state prognostications however, because I ended up with a Silver HM, even though I've already gotten rejected!

Good luck to everyone still in the game and I wish you all much fortitude in your waiting.

Wow. I like your dreams.
I had a dream last night that I was a finalist, but not in the final 3 :(
Of course a month ago I dreamt I got first place :)

[venvariants]

Okay. I am new here. Please call me ven. Firstly - what is LAMPS? What does NNiNN mean, please?

[MJNL]

Welcome!

LMPS: Last Minute Paper Subber

NNINN: No News Is No News

We need a terminology index...

[francisbruno]

Welcome!

LMPS: Last Minute Paper Subber

NNINN: No News Is No News

We need a terminology index...

I think you just started it.

SF - semi finalist
SHM - Silver honerable mention
HM - Honorable Mention
R - Rejection

[venvariants]

Thanks! Okay, so I got NNiNN then. The R for Rejection, unfortunately I caught on to that one.

[Martin L. Shoemaker]

Thanks! Okay, so I got NNiNN then. The R for Rejection, unfortunately I caught on to that one.

Someone who's not nearly so clever as he thinks he is (because really, who could be that clever?) coined the term NNiNN in a foolish attempt to discourage tea-leaf reading and encourage people to instead spend that time on WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! Given the amount of tea-leaf reading you'll see here (including some by him or his alter ego), he clearly failed in his mission.

[Kary English]

...<snip>... in a foolish attempt to discourage tea-leaf reading

Isn't Evil Martin still tied to a chair and shoved in a corner? 'Cuz we could always progress to scapulimancy or the reading of entrails if the tea leaves bother you so.

Alas, we have no smiley with little red horns, or I'd use it.

[Martin L. Shoemaker]

Isn't Evil Martin still tied to a chair and shoved in a corner?

I think he escaped yesterday. Something about lamb chops, maybe?

[morshana]

...<snip>... in a foolish attempt to discourage tea-leaf reading

Isn't Evil Martin still tied to a chair and shoved in a corner? 'Cuz we could always progress to scapulimancy or the reading of entrails if the tea leaves bother you so.

Alas, we have no smiley with little red horns, or I'd use it.

Hm. Silly me, I thought this one looked like maniacal laughter: Hilarious? Looks like "evil laugh" to me...

[WriteToLive]

Isn't Evil Martin still tied to a chair and shoved in a corner?

I think he escaped yesterday. Something about lamb chops, maybe?

I think it was about the same time Evil Mike escaped...

[gower21]

I'd like to call this evil alter-ego meeting to order.

First order of business: The board has been way too quiet. Most people have already gotten their results. How can we spice things up a bit?

Evil Martin: We can crash duotrope!

Evil Kary: create a bunch of fake accounts and start reporting rejections.

Evil Marina: No, no. We should start reporting acceptances on Q1. That'll get them guessing.

Evil Mike, put that chicken down! Do you have any suggestions?

Evil Mike: I'm going to make an entire universe out of my rejection slips and create one where I get only acceptances.

Evil Francis: I did that last week. Old news.

Evil Rebecca: I made a quilt out of mine! Not very warm though...

OK does anybody have any ideas?

Evil Kary: I make a motion to close the meeting.

You can't do that...

Evil Martin: I second that motion. We need to get writing!

Fine. Meeting adjourned.

[WriteToLive]

You know, by doing this, you only give Evil Mike a chance to come out again...

Then again, I hold my limit at 35 until my novel gets done. Which is still in Chapter 2 Part 3...moving rather sluggishly. I need to get the ideas down and get to my second Interlude...which I don't know what I'll do for it. Right now, it's introducing the other major characters...which I am trying to keep as short as possible, but lively.

I still love one little bit which comes from it:

Captain: "On this ship, I'm not just your commanding officer. I'm your god. Everything I say and do is scripture around here. If you don't learn hwo to read, understand, and obey everything I have to say, then you'll find yourself on the nearest planet waiting for some brass button to come pick your sorry ass up. And that's if I'm in a good mood."
New Guy, Claiming to be New First Officer: "What about..."
Captain: "Him? Let me give you a piece of advice. Give up on that whole first officer thing. I would be the nice one to drop you off on some god-forsaken planet. He'll shove you thorugh the airlock and waive goodbye."

It's a bit more colorful, but it's about privateers and pirates. What more can you expect?

[Martin L. Shoemaker]

Evil Mike: I'm going to make an entire universe out of my rejection slips and create one where I get only acceptances.

Evil Francis: I did that last week. Old news.

Evil Rebecca: I made a quilt out of mine! Not very warm though...

Paper rejections... How quaint...

[Martin L. Shoemaker]

You know, by doing this, you only give Evil Mike a chance to come out again...

It's a character-building exercise. You must learn to avoid the evil temptations of procrastination.

(And when you do, could you share your secret?)

I still love one little bit which comes from it:

Captain: "On this ship, I'm not just your commanding officer. I'm your god. Everything I say and do is scripture around here. If you don't learn hwo to read, understand, and obey everything I have to say, then you'll find yourself on the nearest planet waiting for some brass button to come pick your sorry ass up. And that's if I'm in a good mood."
New Guy, Claiming to be New First Officer: "What about..."
Captain: "Him? Let me give you a piece of advice. Give up on that whole first officer thing. I would be the nice one to drop you off on some god-forsaken planet. He'll shove you thorugh the airlock and waive goodbye."

It's a bit more colorful, but it's about privateers and pirates. What more can you expect?

Heheheheheheheh!

[Martin L. Shoemaker]

Another time capsule release on PRWeb yesterday... Are they building up to something, or just trying to distract us?

[E.CaimanSands]

I'd like to call this evil alter-ego meeting to order.

First order of business: The board has been way too quiet. Most people have already gotten their results. How can we spice things up a bit?

Mischievous Gator lumbers into the building and says, "Sorry I'm late, I was snoozing. What's that you say? Spice things up a bit?"
She reaches for the salt and pepper, and the chilli sauce, and starts to sprinkle them on Evil Martin, Evil Kary, Evil Marina, Evil Mike, Evil Francis, Evil Rebecca...


Oh no wait, Nice Elinor says that's not allowed, blast!

Evil Martin: We can crash duotrope!

Evil Kary: create a bunch of fake accounts and start reporting rejections.

Evil Marina: No, no. We should start reporting acceptances on Q1. That'll get them guessing.

Evil Mike, put that chicken down! Do you have any suggestions?

Evil Mike: I'm going to make an entire universe out of my rejection slips and create one where I get only acceptances.

Evil Francis: I did that last week. Old news.

Evil Rebecca: I made a quilt out of mine! Not very warm though...

OK does anybody have any ideas?

Evil Kary: I make a motion to close the meeting.

You can't do that...

Evil Martin: I second that motion. We need to get writing!

Fine. Meeting adjourned.

[francisbruno]

I'd like to call this evil alter-ego meeting to order.

...

Evil Mike: I'm going to make an entire universe out of my rejection slips and create one where I get only acceptances.

Evil Francis: I did that last week. Old news.

...

Rejection slips... what are those...

(setting himself up for a huge fall).