Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Open topics on the Contest itself, to include results-watch threads and other items of note.
vsutherland01
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby vsutherland01 » Fri Jun 16, 2017 2:09 pm

This was my second submission and my second rejection.

I think the hardest part is knowing Mr. Farland probably only made it through a page and a half before chucking it. I write backwards. I am all about endings. I am realizing now that the judge only has time to read the first page of a script, so my endings mean nothing if the first pages are not perfected to survive this round of pre-screening.

I have always hated the idea of packing too much punch into the beginning of a story as I tend to despise things that start strong and then die out. I am going to have to adapt though because it seems the first two pages are the most important. I know that seems rather obvious and some might say "Well gee, just make your whole thing good." There are inevitably parts of a story we all put most of our heart and soul into. For me it's the end.

I have been rethinking the way I write. I could have been bonked out of the running for a number of reasons but I believe it was having a slow start to what ended up being a 13000 word manuscript. This theory has been supported by the feedback I got after letting several people read my Q2.

My beginnings need to be "faster more intense".
2017
Q1 - R
Q2 - R
Q3 - HM

amyhg
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby amyhg » Fri Jun 16, 2017 3:13 pm

I am going to celebrate for just a moment because after a year of submitting - so 4 quarters - I finally survived the "first pass." It's a small step, but it says 'progress' regardless. So, yay! Party in Texas! wotf022
v33: Q3 - R; Q4 - R
v34: Q1 - R; Q2 - SECOND PLACE! Q3 - HM (oops...?)

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Ishmael
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Ishmael » Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:39 am

Dustan Moon wrote:
Ishmael wrote:
preston wrote:I'm out. I think I've lost my mojo. wotf018


Inconceivable, Preston. Where did you see it last? Down by the Muddy Waters? wotf022

(Got my mojo working but it just won't work on Dave.)


Ishmael, you keepa using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. wotf007

But Muddy Waters rocks, even though he's singing the blues.

~Moon~


What word I keepa using, Moon? Inconceivable? As in "it seemed inconceivable that the president had been unaware of what was going on"?
Or in this case it is beyond credible that Preston should have lost his mojo because he's so talented.
1 x SF, 2 x SHM, 10 x HM, WotF batting average .565
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Ishmael
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Ishmael » Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:53 am

vsutherland01 wrote:This was my second submission and my second rejection.

I think the hardest part is knowing Mr. Farland probably only made it through a page and a half before chucking it.


I also had to learn the hard way that you cannot write WotF short stories as if you were writing a novel. Dave's comment on my semi-finalist specifically pointed out the lack of a hook. In other words the story had a chance of making finalist if only I'd written a first sentence that grabbed the reader's attention. If, like me. you enjoy writing what we might call 'slow-burners' you want to look at the way somebody like Kary English will throw in a promise right up front - effectively 'stick with me reader and we'll get to the magic by page 5'. You need to do the same for Dave. And whatever you do, don't start with two pages of backstory. (Unless you're writing for the Sockdolager where those nice editors did once let me get away with it!)

In your case, maybe try something that has led to a couple of stories for me - just write a one sentence hook and then see if you can tie a story on to it.

"Jimmy would never have gone boar hunting if they'd told him you were only allowed to use a spear."
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vsutherland01
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby vsutherland01 » Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:37 am

Ishmael wrote:
In your case, maybe try something that has led to a couple of stories for me - just write a one sentence hook and then see if you can tie a story on to it.

"Jimmy would never have gone boar hunting if they'd told him you were only allowed to use a spear."


Thank you. I really appreciate the advice. I had no idea how much the first page mattered until recently. To expand on this, is it imperative that the first sentence be the hook or might it be included within the first paragraph or somewhere in the first page. I have several stories drafted and I am going back to make sure the first page hooks properly. I have never really used hook sentences like the one you used as an example. It's a different mindset for me. I will need to do some thinking on it.
2017
Q1 - R
Q2 - R
Q3 - HM

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Ishmael
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Ishmael » Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:52 am

vsutherland01 wrote:
Thank you. I really appreciate the advice. I had no idea how much the first page mattered until recently. To expand on this, is it imperative that the first sentence be the hook or might it be included within the first paragraph or somewhere in the first page.


Imagine the reader to have the attention span of a half-asleep goldfish. If you haven't hooked him with sentence one, why should he read sentence two?
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Jeremyteg
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Jeremyteg » Sat Jun 17, 2017 10:37 am

Ishmael wrote:
vsutherland01 wrote:
Thank you. I really appreciate the advice. I had no idea how much the first page mattered until recently. To expand on this, is it imperative that the first sentence be the hook or might it be included within the first paragraph or somewhere in the first page.


Imagine the reader to have the attention span of a half-asleep goldfish. If you haven't hooked him with sentence one, why should he read sentence two?


Early hooks are genuinely important. They don't have to be the central plot question or anything, but it's important to intrigue the reader as early as possible. At any given point in your story, there should be a reason to read on, and the point of least investment/least reason to keep going is the first page of the story.

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MattDovey
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby MattDovey » Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:53 am

There should be a reason to keep reading in the first paragraph, and that reason should, generally speaking, be conflict.

It doesn't have to be the story conflict--in fact, unless it's flash, it probably shouldn't be--but there should be something going wrong, ideally for the character but at least in the world. Shopping bag falling apart. Freak ice storm. Losing their magic sword because their mother's been round to tidy and she always puts everything back in the wrong place.

And within the first 250 words, the reader should know what the character wants and strives for; this can be a "negative" want, as in "I don't want this to be happening" (I don't want the world to end, I don't want these hit men chasing me) but it's more compelling if it's "positive" i.e. the presence of a specific desire with a personal reason that can drive the plot--I want to get my dear old mother out of her debts (so I better go treasure hunting), I want to hook the princess up with my sister (so I better go rescue her, I suppose). Think about what the character would be doing if the plot weren't happening, if it were a normal day for them--they'd still want something, right? You all want to get published (I assume, anyway, if you're here!). Although there may be people out there who drift through life in a completely passive way, they're not usually very compelling.

And please, please, please, from this poor slush reader, open in the character's POV and not with some distantly narrated flowery description of the world. I don't care how interesting (you think) the setting is, description is a boring way to start. You need to see it through the character's eyes, even in third person. Instead of:
The mercury trees shimmered and twisted in a wind that wasn't there, their quicksilver limbs held up by corrupted magic that twisted and reshaped them constantly, hypnotically. In the distance, beneath a black moon in a violet sky, the Great Rok called out for her lost young, the high call rolling across the barren plains beneath cold stars.

...relate it from someone's point of view:
Esha picked her way between the quicksilver branches of the mercury trees, moving gracefully between the shifting, shining, toxic limbs, her eyes focused on the black moon that rose in the violet sky. A corrupted magic animated the trees, like long grass in a slow wind, and if she looked at them they'd suddenly be aware of her presence and reach for her. She had to watch from her peripheral vision as she danced on her toes, twisting between twisted trees, thinking only of the Great Rok's nest beneath that dark moon and the young that lay within: a prize mount that would surely see her victorious in the Coronal Air Joust.


That's terrible, but you get the idea :)

I waffled more about conflict here, btw.
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KristyEmber
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby KristyEmber » Mon Jun 19, 2017 5:52 am

Guys, I got a first pass R as well. This is my fourth entry and second R. The first R that I got was for my first attempt in the competition. It was devastating, and confusing, and hit *hard*.

I rewrote that story - especially the start - and got I upgraded to an HM.

For those of you currently experiencing first try rejections, my commiserations. I can report that the second rejection is not quite so bad. It still stings, but is disheartening rather than devastating.

I thought that I had learnt enough to avoid the first round cut, but apparently not.

amyhg
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby amyhg » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:50 am

FYI, just posted a blurb on my Q1 Rank Analysis conclusions. Love to get a discussion rolling on it if y'all want to take a look: viewtopic.php?f=16&t=2545.

Amy
v33: Q3 - R; Q4 - R
v34: Q1 - R; Q2 - SECOND PLACE! Q3 - HM (oops...?)

Jason Parker
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Jason Parker » Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:49 am

Where are you guys and gals seeing results from Q2? Haven't seen anything yet...
6xRs wotf002

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disgruntledpeony
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby disgruntledpeony » Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:50 am

Jason Parker wrote:Where are you guys and gals seeing results from Q2? Haven't seen anything yet...

That probably means you're still in the running, for the moment. Results go out in waves.
If a person offend you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick. ~ Mark Twain
2015, Q4: R
2016: SF, n/a, SHM, SHM
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Jason Parker
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Jason Parker » Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:53 am

disgruntledpeony wrote:
Jason Parker wrote:Where are you guys and gals seeing results from Q2? Haven't seen anything yet...

That probably means you're still in the running, for the moment. Results go out in waves.


Cool. Thanks.

Good luck to all.
6xRs wotf002

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby AliciaCay » Sun Jun 25, 2017 6:00 am

preston wrote:I'm out. I think I've lost my mojo. wotf018


That's exactly how I felt too Preston. I got my R for this quarter in the first wave, and it's my second R in a row after several HM's - ouch baby, really ouch.
But! immediately after reading my Rejection email from Joni, a little voice in my head (that's normal right?) began singing a line from a song - "It's always darkest before the dawn."
Now on to write the next, even better, story! Or something like that wotf011
V32: HM (Q4)
V33: HM, HM, SHM, HM
V34: R, R, HM, Q4-TBD
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preston
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby preston » Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:58 am

Yeah, no matter how many times I get an R, it still hurts. But it also inspires! And there's always the next quarter. Thanks, Alicia!

Jason Parker
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Jason Parker » Tue Jun 27, 2017 2:36 pm

I've lost track of how many R's I've gotten from this contest, short story markets, and agents. It's in the hundreds.

It still hurts like hell every time, but it also pushes me to level up my writing.
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Dustin Adams
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Dustin Adams » Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:14 am

.
.
Whenever I get bummed about a rejection, I return to Stewart Baker's signature.

R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner (1st)

Each R puts me closer to that W. wotf006
2x Finalist
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby AliciaCay » Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:00 pm

Dustin Adams wrote:.
.
Whenever I get bummed about a rejection, I return to Stewart Baker's signature.

R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner (1st)

Each R puts me closer to that W. wotf006


I love this Dustin, thank you!! wotf015
V32: HM (Q4)
V33: HM, HM, SHM, HM
V34: R, R, HM, Q4-TBD
https://aliciacay.com
"I turned silences and nights into words. What was unutterable, I wrote down. I made the whirling world stand still." -Arthur Rimbaud

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Jeremyteg » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:54 pm

I'm vicariously twitching over here...just a little bit wotf001

Good luck y'all! May we meet in Hollywood! wotf009

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby vjalrik » Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:56 am

AliciaCay wrote:
Dustin Adams wrote:.
.
Whenever I get bummed about a rejection, I return to Stewart Baker's signature.

R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner (1st)

Each R puts me closer to that W. wotf006


I love this Dustin, thank you!! wotf015


Big fan of your submission results format in your sig AliciaCay! I'm gonna co-opt it if ok. It might get a little unwieldy with too many years of subs, but we'll be ineligible long before that...
V34: SF, R, R, Q4-pending
V33 (Q2 on): HM, SHM, R
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"The Right Decision," Digital Science Fiction, Dec. 21, 2016
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Jason Parker » Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:58 pm

Dustin Adams wrote:.
.
Whenever I get bummed about a rejection, I return to Stewart Baker's signature.

R, R, R, R, HM, R, R, R, R, Winner (1st)

Each R puts me closer to that W. wotf006

wotf024
6xRs wotf002

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby Smithr73 » Thu Jun 29, 2017 4:56 pm

For record purposes, i submitted to this quarter back when lurking before the fix. 3/30, and made it through the first round of cuts.

Now anxiously awaiting like everyone else.

wotf017
V32: HM
V33: HM, HM, HM, HM
V34: R, HM, HM

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby thegirlintheglasses » Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:45 pm

This is my first submission and part of me is wondering... Did they really get my story? wotf017 still twitching here. Grinder says they usually take 99 days to send out results. Does that sound right? Aw forget it. I'm gonna go put some chocolate on graham and ignore my phone for a while. Maybe. Mmmmmm nutella anyone?
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R-SHM-?

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reigheena
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby reigheena » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:18 pm

Yeah, 3 months after the deadline is about average. Sometimes its shorter. Sometimes its longer.

Next wave should be coming anytime now, right? *twitch*
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby RSchibler » Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:24 am

thegirlintheglasses wrote:This is my first submission and part of me is wondering... Did they really get my story? wotf017 still twitching here. Grinder says they usually take 99 days to send out results. Does that sound right? Aw forget it. I'm gonna go put some chocolate on graham and ignore my phone for a while. Maybe. Mmmmmm nutella anyone?


I got an email confirmation a few weeks ago. My understanding is that if you haven't received confirmation, it's okay to reach out and confirm with Joni that your story has been received. IIRC when I submitted by Q3 story there was a message to that effect as well. I submitted by mail, which I guess is the least preferred method, and I've received confirmation so if you haven't I'd definitely be confirming.
Trying to refute entropy with words.

Q2, Vol34, R
Q3, Vol34, HM
Q4, Vol34, pending

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AliciaCay
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby AliciaCay » Sat Jul 01, 2017 5:36 am

vjalrik wrote:
AliciaCay wrote:
Dustin Adams wrote:.
.
Whenever I get bummed about a rejection, I return to Stewart Baker's signature.


Each R puts me closer to that W. wotf006


I love this Dustin, thank you!! wotf015


Big fan of your submission results format in your sig AliciaCay! I'm gonna co-opt it if ok. It might get a little unwieldy with too many years of subs, but we'll be ineligible long before that...


Yeah of course, and thanks! I like seeing the order of results in others sig line, so I wanted to incorporate something like that in mine. And yes, we will be ineligible long, long before that - Win or sell, there is no fail! wotf024
V32: HM (Q4)
V33: HM, HM, SHM, HM
V34: R, R, HM, Q4-TBD
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"I turned silences and nights into words. What was unutterable, I wrote down. I made the whirling world stand still." -Arthur Rimbaud

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby thegirlintheglasses » Mon Jul 03, 2017 4:54 pm

RSchibler wrote:
thegirlintheglasses wrote:This is my first submission and part of me is wondering... Did they really get my story? wotf017 still twitching here. Grinder says they usually take 99 days to send out results. Does that sound right? Aw forget it. I'm gonna go put some chocolate on graham and ignore my phone for a while. Maybe. Mmmmmm nutella anyone?


I got an email confirmation a few weeks ago. My understanding is that if you haven't received confirmation, it's okay to reach out and confirm with Joni that your story has been received. IIRC when I submitted by Q3 story there was a message to that effect as well. I submitted by mail, which I guess is the least preferred method, and I've received confirmation so if you haven't I'd definitely be confirming.


Thanks for the suggestion. I just emailed her and got confirmation. "Hang in there. We're still doing the judging but we're almost done". Gah! I feel like I can't wait while simultaneously not wanting to know either. *Digs through cupboards to find chocolate*
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R-SHM-?

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby michaeljwyantjr » Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:37 am

Is anyone else getting heart palpitations every time they get an email, or is it just me?

@_o
WotF Results:
  • R:1
  • HM:3
  • sHM:0
  • SF:0
  • F:0
  • (Last: HM, Q2.v34)

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J'nae Rae
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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby J'nae Rae » Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:45 pm

michaeljwyantjr wrote:Is anyone else getting heart palpitations every time they get an email, or is it just me?

@_o


We call it twitching. We all get more twitchy the longer it's been since the close of the Quarter. Especially after results start showing up on the Grinder.
HM Q1 2015, Q3 & Q4 2016.
R Q1 & Q2 2017
The Trade's On, in Issue 8 of Sci Phi Journal, November 2015
Naidin's Song: Blood Bound, published August 2016
Nine-Tenths, on Empyreome (Weekly Flash Fiction,) June 2017

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Re: Jibber Jabber - Q2 - Volume 34

Postby michaeljwyantjr » Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:00 pm

*twitch*
WotF Results:
  • R:1
  • HM:3
  • sHM:0
  • SF:0
  • F:0
  • (Last: HM, Q2.v34)


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