First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

For confidential exchange of story critiques
metermaid
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby metermaid » Mon Dec 09, 2013 4:52 pm

Looks like no one's posted here in a little while. If anyone's still interested in doing a 450-word swap, I'd love to try it out! Just let me know!

brunoalviel
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby brunoalviel » Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:01 am

I'd like to try it out too.

Just send me a message.

clclark35
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby clclark35 » Thu Mar 06, 2014 10:10 am

I'm also open for swapping! wotf024
Vol. 31:R, R, gap, .....

glenn84
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby glenn84 » Sat Mar 08, 2014 9:21 am

Me too! Anyone that's interested, send me a PM with your email. wotf010

EDIT: I'm willing to swap full stories as well.
V30 Q3 HM

MikeBach
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby MikeBach » Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:24 pm

At 450 I'd be willing to do multiple exchanges, but this story is experimental.

I've been playing with a clean method of writing a deep southern accent, that includes dropping the hard "g". The limited feedback I've received on this piece suggests I've cracked the dang code. You be the judge...

Submitted for you approval is 439 words that are intended, in part, to make you ask what? But, not because of the way the homogeneous dialect is presented... wotf007
All things come out in the end... The only question is, from which end will they emerge?

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Dustin Adams
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Dustin Adams » Tue May 20, 2014 4:42 am

.
I'd like to announce, if anyone is interested, that my inbox is now permanently open to 450s.
What I mean is, just send it. This pertains to everyone. wotf009
My "e-mail" is under my sensei's image.

So, have a 450? Need a reader?

Send it. wotf042

You can copy/paste, or if you have my physical e-mail, just send with a recognizable subject, like 450 or WotF. (My e-mail is my work e-mail, for now, so I need to see it.)
If you copy/paste into the forum form e-mail, please leave your physical e-mail so I can send back a .rtf attachment with my comments.

wotf052
2x Finalist
1x Semi
2x Silver
9x HM
Eight EDF stories. DSF: Flash1. Flash2. Short Story. My Semi-F

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Hyperion
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Hyperion » Fri May 30, 2014 6:36 am

Hey, if anyone is interested in trading openings for this quarter, I'm also interested. I'm new to the contest, but hopefully I can give you some feedback. If interested, just send me a PM and we can exchange emails.
HM x 1
Finalist x 1

glenn84
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby glenn84 » Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:04 pm

I'm willing to exchange as well. Send me a PM if interested.
V30 Q3 HM

Henckel
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Henckel » Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:34 am

Hi there -
Is there anyone out there looking to do a high level story swap?

I've completed humerus novella written in third omniscient POV. This is the first story I've written in the POV (not to mention my first humerus story) I'm concerned that I've gone about it all wrong!

What I'm looking for is someone with experience in third omniscient to generally read a few pages and tell me where I may have missed the mark.

If anyone out there is interested, please let me know. I'm more than happy to review your story in return. Just send me a PM.

Thanks!

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Dustin Adams
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Dustin Adams » Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:41 am

wotf006
Looking for one or two 450 swappers.
Anyone not in for this Q yet (like me) want/need a pair of last-minute eyes? (like me)
2x Finalist
1x Semi
2x Silver
9x HM
Eight EDF stories. DSF: Flash1. Flash2. Short Story. My Semi-F

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Helen Jackson
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Helen Jackson » Thu Sep 18, 2014 10:15 pm

I'm up for a 450 swap, Dustin. I'll PM...
http://www.helen-jackson.com
V29. Q2: Silver HM; Q3: R; Q4: R
V30. Q1: HM; Q2: R; Q3: R
V31. Q1: Semi-finalist; Q2: R; Q4: HM

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Ishmael
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Ishmael » Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:45 am

wotf006

After three days of grinding effort I have something resembling the first scene of a space opera story. It's around 700 words rather than 450 but you can put that down to my natural tendency to slowness.

As usual I'm not at all clear where it's going, but I should like to know if I have something worth the effort this looks like taking, (which it won't be if this scene is not an attention grabber.)

So if anyone feels like exchanging opening scenes, please PM me.
1 x SF, 2 x SHM, 11 x HM, WotF batting average .583
Blog The View From Sliabh Mannan.

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yoyo123
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby yoyo123 » Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:29 am

Ishmael, I wouldn't mind swapping. I have a sci fi with a 500-ish word opener. I sent you a
PM. If you're interested just let me know.

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yoyo123
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby yoyo123 » Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:35 am

Alternatively, I have a non-contest-related piece of (fantasy-ish) flash fiction I've been toying with...if anyone wants to swap for that one instead it's only about 135 words. *grovels shamelessly* wotf007 Fair warning, it's my first attempt at this length.

alpha
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby alpha » Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:37 pm

I'll play.

mack
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby mack » Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:11 pm

I have a question: is it a bad sign/grounds for an immediate rejection if the sci fi/fantasy element of the story doesn't show up in the first 450 words? Pace is one of the things I tend to struggle with in short story writing and Im worried the story stretches too long before action begins wotf018

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Ishmael
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Ishmael » Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:13 am

mack wrote:I have a question: is it a bad sign/grounds for an immediate rejection if the sci fi/fantasy element of the story doesn't show up in the first 450 words? Pace is one of the things I tend to struggle with in short story writing and Im worried the story stretches too long before action begins wotf018


This sometimes worries me, Mack. I rather like slow burners where every non-supernatural avenue is exhausted and the characters finally realise that what is happening to them is not normal.

By and large, as I understand the advice I've received, DF is not fond of this approach. If you must have non-speculative content, it can sometimes be achieved via a speculative opening and a backstory.

This is not of course the same thing as an opening where nothing happens. The contemplative opening of which I used to be fond got me absolutely nowhere. (Not that I have as yet advanced to a very prolific somewhere.) You need a hook in the first paragraph and some sort of story to engage the reader in the first page or so. This is why we occasionally try these 450 (or thereabouts) exchanges to check with each other whether we managed this.

PM me if you'd like to swap.
1 x SF, 2 x SHM, 11 x HM, WotF batting average .583
Blog The View From Sliabh Mannan.

Imagination Vortex
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Imagination Vortex » Sat Oct 25, 2014 8:06 am

Beginnings have always been a weakness of mine, I feel I often have trouble "grounding" the reader, as Dave calls it. So before I go any further, I was hoping to get a few people to look over my first 450, and let me know if it's headed in the right direction. Please PM me if you'd like to swap!
~You Are Now Entering Stephanie's Vortex~
WOTF: 1x Silver, 4x HM, 12x R
IOTF: 1x Semi, 2x R, 4x Into the Vortex

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Rebecca Birch
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Rebecca Birch » Sat Dec 13, 2014 3:28 pm

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for first 450 exchanges this quarter. I've been through about five different openings for this story, and I've lost all ability to tell if this is holding together. (The rest of the story is done, though, thank goodness!)

Please drop me a PM if you're interested in an exchange.

Thanks!
Rebecca Birch
Finalist - 2, SF - 1, SHM - 1, HM - 16, R - 6
Words of Birch
Short Story Collection--Life Out of Harmony and Other Tales of Wonder

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Dustin Adams
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Dustin Adams » Mon Feb 09, 2015 9:26 am

wotf006 I've got a 450 to exchange through PM if anyone else is ready.
2x Finalist
1x Semi
2x Silver
9x HM
Eight EDF stories. DSF: Flash1. Flash2. Short Story. My Semi-F

Zaragon
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Zaragon » Thu Feb 12, 2015 2:02 am

Dustin, I have nothing ready to trade yet this quarter, but I owe you one from Q1 so I'd gladly help. Feel free to send me the 450, or the whole story, anytime.
Simon Johansson

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Dustin Adams
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Dustin Adams » Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:48 am

Thanks Simon,

Sadly, my 450 underwent another complete rewrite.
Alternatively, you'll be the first to see it! wotf010
2x Finalist
1x Semi
2x Silver
9x HM
Eight EDF stories. DSF: Flash1. Flash2. Short Story. My Semi-F

Imagination Vortex
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Imagination Vortex » Mon Apr 06, 2015 2:17 pm

I know it's super early into the new quarter, but I've had a story in progress for a while now and was hoping to get some feedback on the first 450. Please let me know if you'd like to swap!
~You Are Now Entering Stephanie's Vortex~
WOTF: 1x Silver, 4x HM, 12x R
IOTF: 1x Semi, 2x R, 4x Into the Vortex

Ivy Fairhaven
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Ivy Fairhaven » Wed Apr 15, 2015 9:00 pm

Hello! I'm willing to give a critique on anyone's first 450 (It can be a little longer if needed). I need editing practice. wotf007

Please message me if you are interested, or email me at ivy.fairhaven@gmail.com
SHM x1
HM x3
R x1

Brydar
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Brydar » Sat Apr 18, 2015 3:07 am

Okay my story exchange for the first 450 is ready. When I PM or e-mail it to those who are ready I will explain why my beginning in a way seems to mirror many other stories. No; obviously not plagarized.
Entered V32/Q2, Q3, Q4
Not long ago scientists postulated that our entire universe was quite possibly a hologram. I KNEW it; we ARE in the Matrix!

francisbruno
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby francisbruno » Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:58 am

I'm available for the first 450. I have a couple of stories (maybe 3) which I'd like some feedback on.
Of course I'll reciprocate.
Accomplishments:
SF: V32Q2, V28Q4
HM: V29 Q2, V30 Q2
Dave Farland: Short Story Master's Class, World Building
Viable Paradise XVI
Uncle Orson's 2011
"Stalkworthy"
http://www.francisbruno.com

Fobok1
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Fobok1 » Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:11 pm

Hello! Just getting back to the forum after a long absence. I have a story that all my first readers tell me is the best I've ever written, but the last time I submitted it got a flat reject. A personal rejection from another market suggested the problem is in the opening, so I'd love to do a first-450 swap with someone if anybody is interested.
HM - Q4, vol 28 (Now available in ebook!)
HM - Q1, vol 30
Check out my blog!

Brydar
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Brydar » Mon Apr 20, 2015 2:33 am

For those who replied to this already, does this coming weekend work for this 450 word swap? This should allow for more forum folk to come on here and we can get maximum exposure and replies / critiques on our works. Of course you can all see who already has an interest in doing this, so if you would like to start early more power to you. I think I need to tweak my story a bit more, it seems slow to start. I probably still have too much fluff at the beginning.
Entered V32/Q2, Q3, Q4
Not long ago scientists postulated that our entire universe was quite possibly a hologram. I KNEW it; we ARE in the Matrix!

LawrenceVanHoof
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby LawrenceVanHoof » Tue Apr 21, 2015 9:33 am

I'd be up for a 450 swap (or two) this weekend.
Oops, where did that idea go? I had it a minute ago....

http://www.lawrencevanhoof.com

Brydar
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Re: First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

Postby Brydar » Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:33 pm

Excellent! The list is ever growing; I have Imagination Vortex, Ivy Fairhaven, Francis Bruno, Fobok 1, LawrenceVanhoof, Dustin Adams primed on a list for my 450. I still need to do a bit more adjusting but I think I have an idea on how to make it smoother. I may have it ready to go by tomorrow or Friday, tonight if I am lucky. I hope some more folks will jump onto this 450 swap band wagon. I think I should give myself a deadline of Friday 6PM EST. Yes; I will send my 450 then no matter my belief of the story condition, that will be the point where I will have crossed the Rubicon - I hope that is acceptable. Now I shall return to the mundane world of laundry and dish washing, the sooner I am done the sooner I can return to writing. wotf047

Edited: I have another delay today, car repair. I just hope that I can find the parts for my Saturn (which went out of business). Arggh

Edit Edited: I had to order parts for the car they come in this morning and then I get to work on it - just great. In the afternoon I get to go to work - wonderful. Return home to do mundane chores - excellent. Finally I will get to work on and send out my 450, FANTASTIC. Is everyone else ready who I have on my list for a swap?
Entered V32/Q2, Q3, Q4
Not long ago scientists postulated that our entire universe was quite possibly a hologram. I KNEW it; we ARE in the Matrix!


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