First Four-Fifty Critique Exchanges

[metermaid]

Looks like no one's posted here in a little while. If anyone's still interested in doing a 450-word swap, I'd love to try it out! Just let me know!

[brunoalviel]

I'd like to try it out too.

Just send me a message.

[clclark35]

I'm also open for swapping!

[glenn84]

Me too! Anyone that's interested, send me a PM with your email.

EDIT: I'm willing to swap full stories as well.

[MikeBach]

At 450 I'd be willing to do multiple exchanges, but this story is experimental.

I've been playing with a clean method of writing a deep southern accent, that includes dropping the hard "g". The limited feedback I've received on this piece suggests I've cracked the dang code. You be the judge...

Submitted for you approval is 439 words that are intended, in part, to make you ask what? But, not because of the way the homogeneous dialect is presented...

[Dustin Adams]

.
I'd like to announce, if anyone is interested, that my inbox is now permanently open to 450s.
What I mean is, just send it. This pertains to everyone.
My "e-mail" is under my sensei's image.

So, have a 450? Need a reader?

Send it.

You can copy/paste, or if you have my physical e-mail, just send with a recognizable subject, like 450 or WotF. (My e-mail is my work e-mail, for now, so I need to see it.)
If you copy/paste into the forum form e-mail, please leave your physical e-mail so I can send back a .rtf attachment with my comments.

[Hyperion]

Hey, if anyone is interested in trading openings for this quarter, I'm also interested. I'm new to the contest, but hopefully I can give you some feedback. If interested, just send me a PM and we can exchange emails.

[glenn84]

I'm willing to exchange as well. Send me a PM if interested.

[Henckel]

Hi there -
Is there anyone out there looking to do a high level story swap?

I've completed humerus novella written in third omniscient POV. This is the first story I've written in the POV (not to mention my first humerus story) I'm concerned that I've gone about it all wrong!

What I'm looking for is someone with experience in third omniscient to generally read a few pages and tell me where I may have missed the mark.

If anyone out there is interested, please let me know. I'm more than happy to review your story in return. Just send me a PM.

Thanks!

[Dustin Adams]

Looking for one or two 450 swappers.
Anyone not in for this Q yet (like me) want/need a pair of last-minute eyes? (like me)

[Helen Jackson]

I'm up for a 450 swap, Dustin. I'll PM...

[Ishmael]

After three days of grinding effort I have something resembling the first scene of a space opera story. It's around 700 words rather than 450 but you can put that down to my natural tendency to slowness.

As usual I'm not at all clear where it's going, but I should like to know if I have something worth the effort this looks like taking, (which it won't be if this scene is not an attention grabber.)

So if anyone feels like exchanging opening scenes, please PM me.

[yoyo123]

Ishmael, I wouldn't mind swapping. I have a sci fi with a 500-ish word opener. I sent you a
PM. If you're interested just let me know.

[yoyo123]

Alternatively, I have a non-contest-related piece of (fantasy-ish) flash fiction I've been toying with...if anyone wants to swap for that one instead it's only about 135 words. *grovels shamelessly* Fair warning, it's my first attempt at this length.

[alpha]

I'll play.

[mack]

I have a question: is it a bad sign/grounds for an immediate rejection if the sci fi/fantasy element of the story doesn't show up in the first 450 words? Pace is one of the things I tend to struggle with in short story writing and Im worried the story stretches too long before action begins

[Ishmael]

I have a question: is it a bad sign/grounds for an immediate rejection if the sci fi/fantasy element of the story doesn't show up in the first 450 words? Pace is one of the things I tend to struggle with in short story writing and Im worried the story stretches too long before action begins

This sometimes worries me, Mack. I rather like slow burners where every non-supernatural avenue is exhausted and the characters finally realise that what is happening to them is not normal.

By and large, as I understand the advice I've received, DF is not fond of this approach. If you must have non-speculative content, it can sometimes be achieved via a speculative opening and a backstory.

This is not of course the same thing as an opening where nothing happens. The contemplative opening of which I used to be fond got me absolutely nowhere. (Not that I have as yet advanced to a very prolific somewhere.) You need a hook in the first paragraph and some sort of story to engage the reader in the first page or so. This is why we occasionally try these 450 (or thereabouts) exchanges to check with each other whether we managed this.

PM me if you'd like to swap.

[Imagination Vortex]

Beginnings have always been a weakness of mine, I feel I often have trouble "grounding" the reader, as Dave calls it. So before I go any further, I was hoping to get a few people to look over my first 450, and let me know if it's headed in the right direction. Please PM me if you'd like to swap!

[Rebecca Birch]

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for first 450 exchanges this quarter. I've been through about five different openings for this story, and I've lost all ability to tell if this is holding together. (The rest of the story is done, though, thank goodness!)

Please drop me a PM if you're interested in an exchange.

Thanks!

[Dustin Adams]

I've got a 450 to exchange through PM if anyone else is ready.

[Zaragon]

Dustin, I have nothing ready to trade yet this quarter, but I owe you one from Q1 so I'd gladly help. Feel free to send me the 450, or the whole story, anytime.

[Dustin Adams]

Thanks Simon,

Sadly, my 450 underwent another complete rewrite.
Alternatively, you'll be the first to see it!

[Imagination Vortex]

I know it's super early into the new quarter, but I've had a story in progress for a while now and was hoping to get some feedback on the first 450. Please let me know if you'd like to swap!

[Ivy Fairhaven]

Hello! I'm willing to give a critique on anyone's first 450 (It can be a little longer if needed). I need editing practice.

Please message me if you are interested, or email me at ivy.fairhaven@gmail.com

[Brydar]

Okay my story exchange for the first 450 is ready. When I PM or e-mail it to those who are ready I will explain why my beginning in a way seems to mirror many other stories. No; obviously not plagarized.

[francisbruno]

I'm available for the first 450. I have a couple of stories (maybe 3) which I'd like some feedback on.
Of course I'll reciprocate.

[Fobok1]

Hello! Just getting back to the forum after a long absence. I have a story that all my first readers tell me is the best I've ever written, but the last time I submitted it got a flat reject. A personal rejection from another market suggested the problem is in the opening, so I'd love to do a first-450 swap with someone if anybody is interested.

[Brydar]

For those who replied to this already, does this coming weekend work for this 450 word swap? This should allow for more forum folk to come on here and we can get maximum exposure and replies / critiques on our works. Of course you can all see who already has an interest in doing this, so if you would like to start early more power to you. I think I need to tweak my story a bit more, it seems slow to start. I probably still have too much fluff at the beginning.

[LawrenceVanHoof]

I'd be up for a 450 swap (or two) this weekend.

[Brydar]

Excellent! The list is ever growing; I have Imagination Vortex, Ivy Fairhaven, Francis Bruno, Fobok 1, LawrenceVanhoof, Dustin Adams primed on a list for my 450. I still need to do a bit more adjusting but I think I have an idea on how to make it smoother. I may have it ready to go by tomorrow or Friday, tonight if I am lucky. I hope some more folks will jump onto this 450 swap band wagon. I think I should give myself a deadline of Friday 6PM EST. Yes; I will send my 450 then no matter my belief of the story condition, that will be the point where I will have crossed the Rubicon - I hope that is acceptable. Now I shall return to the mundane world of laundry and dish washing, the sooner I am done the sooner I can return to writing.

Edited: I have another delay today, car repair. I just hope that I can find the parts for my Saturn (which went out of business). Arggh

Edit Edited: I had to order parts for the car they come in this morning and then I get to work on it - just great. In the afternoon I get to go to work - wonderful. Return home to do mundane chores - excellent. Finally I will get to work on and send out my 450, FANTASTIC. Is everyone else ready who I have on my list for a swap?