Rejection

For confidential exchange of story critiques
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RSchibler
Posts: 238
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Rejection

Postby RSchibler » Mon Jul 02, 2018 6:22 am

Hi folks. I am hoping to get some fresh eyes on my Q2 rejection. I didn’t take the rejection well and every time I open the document I want to delete every other word. Before I send it out on sub I’d really like some feedback about why maybe it didn’t work. I really believe in this story and want it to do well! Thanks in advance.
Trying to refute entropy with words.

Vol34: Q2 R, Q3 HM, Q4 R
Vol35: Q1 HM, Q2 R, Q3 R, Q4 pending

Blogging about my writing journey at: http://www.rebeccaetreasure.com/blog

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morganb
Posts: 173
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:11 am
Location: Tiffin, Ohio

Re: Rejection

Postby morganb » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:31 am

I'd be happy to take a look at it for you. Send it on over! PM me if you need my email address.


~Morgan
"If you can do it for joy, you can do it forever."
- Stephen King

Infrequent posts about this whole writing experience thing...http://mbroadhead.blogspot.com/

HM x 1
R x 4

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RSchibler
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2017 2:53 pm
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Re: Rejection

Postby RSchibler » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:03 am

You saw an early draft of this, but I’ll send the submitted version. Appreciated.
Trying to refute entropy with words.

Vol34: Q2 R, Q3 HM, Q4 R
Vol35: Q1 HM, Q2 R, Q3 R, Q4 pending

Blogging about my writing journey at: http://www.rebeccaetreasure.com/blog

kentagions
Posts: 294
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 2:45 pm
Location: Saint Paul, Minnesota

Re: Rejection

Postby kentagions » Mon Jul 02, 2018 10:50 am

Hi Becky,
I reread the story I believe you entered for Q2. The beginning may have taken too long to build Narrative Momentum.

Check out this blog post: http://www.laurelcohn.com.au/Narrative%20momentum.html

I'm still sold on the story and am stunned that it received a straight R.

Best of luck,
Kent

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RSchibler
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2017 2:53 pm
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Re: Rejection

Postby RSchibler » Mon Jul 02, 2018 12:50 pm

Thanks to all. Kent, I appreciate the article. I suspect the opening is where I failed most. Maybe I need to cut that opening scene entirely, and just imply the information provided there to get to the meat of the story quicker.
Trying to refute entropy with words.

Vol34: Q2 R, Q3 HM, Q4 R
Vol35: Q1 HM, Q2 R, Q3 R, Q4 pending

Blogging about my writing journey at: http://www.rebeccaetreasure.com/blog

LDWriter2
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Joined: Sun May 13, 2012 8:59 pm
Location: Central Cailf.
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Re: Rejection

Postby LDWriter2 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:13 pm

RSchibler wrote:Hi folks. I am hoping to get some fresh eyes on my Q2 rejection. I didn’t take the rejection well and every time I open the document I want to delete every other word. Before I send it out on sub I’d really like some feedback about why maybe it didn’t work. I really believe in this story and want it to do well! Thanks in advance.



I know the feeling-sometimes. Like the last two stories I sent in.
Working on turning Lead into Gold.

Four HMs From WotF
The latest was Q1'12
HM-quarter 4 Volume 32
One HM for another contest
published in Strange New Worlds Ten.
Another HM http://onthepremises.com/minis/mini_18.html

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michaeljwyantjr
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Location: Lost in the country, NY
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Re: Rejection

Postby michaeljwyantjr » Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:11 pm

Sorry for the late reply: I’d be happy to take a look if you still need more eyes on it.

My turnaround time is skewed at the moment (niece and nephew visiting for the next few weeks), but I’d be happy to help.
WotF Results:
  • R:2
  • HM:5
  • sHM:0
  • SF:0
  • F:0
  • Last: HM, Q2 v35
  • Pending, Q3/Q4 v35

Elto_Danzig
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:37 am

Re: Rejection

Postby Elto_Danzig » Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:54 pm

Feel free to PM me if you'd like another pair of eyes on it
eltodanzig.wordpress.com
2018 Finalist Baen Publishing Fantasy Adventure Award
V35Q3: HM | V35Q4: First round pass

glenn84
Posts: 77
Joined: Sat Aug 03, 2013 1:06 pm

Re: Rejection

Postby glenn84 » Wed Aug 15, 2018 8:32 am

PM if you still need fresh eyes. No, not literally, although I can hook you up with a good dealer if that is what you require....
HM x 3
SHM x 1
R - unknown

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RSchibler
Posts: 238
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Re: Rejection

Postby RSchibler » Thu Aug 16, 2018 7:11 am

MMM fresh eyes.
Sure, Glenn, I appreciate the offer.
Trying to refute entropy with words.

Vol34: Q2 R, Q3 HM, Q4 R
Vol35: Q1 HM, Q2 R, Q3 R, Q4 pending

Blogging about my writing journey at: http://www.rebeccaetreasure.com/blog


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