Pain, Depression, Failure...Don't Look Away

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kentagions
Posts: 233
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 2:45 pm
Location: Saint Paul, Minnesota

Pain, Depression, Failure...Don't Look Away

Postby kentagions » Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:05 am

There is a whole lot of angst in these pages lately. Depressed and dispirited posts left and right.

It's wonderful to see these emotions, here. We're alive. We're kicking. Now write about it.

I was recently honored to witness the last few hours of life bestowed upon a friend's mother. She had dementia and we lost her by bits and pieces until there was nothing. She'd been a wonderful, giving person in life, dedicated to helping those in need. People she'd helped had touching stories to tell and are still telling them.

Pain, depression and failure run through our lives at all times. Friends, family, pets and jobs are taken away in a dark twinkling. It's tempting to go numb, let the hollowness press outward until it empties our lives. It's tempting to clean that bathroom, catch up on finances or skip off to the bar to avoid the negative. Don't.

Pain is your cash. Depression is your stock. Failure is gold. Keep writing. Don't look away.

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storysinger
Posts: 704
Joined: Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:00 pm
Location: Pensacola

Re: Pain, Depression, Failure...Don't Look Away

Postby storysinger » Thu Mar 16, 2017 4:54 am

Ever since I read about how Nancy dealt with Ronnie's decline the idea for this poem has been with me.

You didn't forget me this time
You simply didn't know me
I held your arm to keep you close
But it was temporary
Recognition is rare most days
Tears sometimes come with a sigh
You struggle when thoughts go astray
Living the pain of a long good-bye

A kiss almost always brings a smile
As I lovingly squeeze your hand
Eyes of the world are watching
Across every border in every land
Soul-mates forever through thick and thin
My love for you will never die
Together for the last time
Sharing the pain of a long good-bye
HM-1
Today's science fiction is tomorrow's reality.
D.R.Sweeney

amoskalik
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Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:40 pm
Location: Detroit, MI
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Re: Pain, Depression, Failure...Don't Look Away

Postby amoskalik » Thu Mar 16, 2017 6:19 am

Beautiful thoughts, both of you. I've noticed since I started writing regularly that writing comes with an inherent invitation or perhaps imperative to examine every facet of life including and especially those areas that we often shy away from.
This is an inward reward that brings a deeper meaning to my life and keeps me at my keyboard more than thoughts of any possible outward success does.
Trajectory HM R R HM R R HM HM HM R

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Ishmael
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Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:47 am
Location: Stirlingshire, UK

Re: Pain, Depression, Failure...Don't Look Away

Postby Ishmael » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:17 am

I love the poem.

I truly believe some people have a saintly capacity to deal with dementia in others. I am not one of them. This makes me feel guilty when I remember times I've fallen short of the standards to which I guess a good person should aspire.

But sometimes I wonder if we beat ourselves up excessively for not being perfect. Not everyone has it in them to be saintly. The rest of us just have to make do with the best we can do.

And I hope that in a small way my writing may provide some small recompense to the world for the good I wasn't always able to do directly.

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1 x SF, 2 x SHM, 10 x HM, WotF batting average .565
Blog The View From Sliabh Mannan.

DanielHeller
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2017 2:05 am

Re: Pain, Depression, Failure...Don't Look Away

Postby DanielHeller » Tue Jun 06, 2017 2:12 am

Depression can be understood in terms of it being the emotional response to thinking unpleasant thoughts. People who are depressed think of things that make them unhappy. Sometimes this is entirely reasonable for example in the case of bereavement, life struggles or the breakdown of an important relationship. At other times the thoughts that drive low mood are not helpful or accurate.

It is important to know which thoughts cause the unhappiness and if they are an accurate reflection of the situation. How then can we find out how accurate our thoughts are? A good start is to think in specific terms about the evidence that supports a thought or belief. If there is no evidence, what else could to be true? If there is no evidence to support a thought that prompts sadness it is possible that there are thinking errors in thinking habits. In depression, black and white thinking, emotional reasoning, predicting, catastrophising and mind reading are common. Low self-esteem and poor self-confidence can also influence mood.

Another consideration is state dependant memory, which is the mind's tendency to recall things from a similar state. Therefore, when we're happy we are more likely to think of happy things and when we're sad we're more likely to remember occasions when we were sad.

It is important to make the real, practical, changes where possible. When change is not possible, do not attribute the problem to a personality flaw. Be objective and connect cause and effect without inappropriate blame. Remember that, while depressed, there is a tendency to be self-critical. Though it is very difficult to stop unpleasant and unhelpful thoughts altogether, it is possible to correct them with more helpful ones. When people become depressed they may stop doing the things that make us all happy and well.

Even at times when motivation is poor it is important to eat well ,sleep well, exercise and maintain positive friendships.


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