Wulf Moon's SUPER SECRETS Workshop & Challenge!

[Thomas Woodward]

Hi Moon,

Your 250 didn't have nearly the emotional impact of your 500 or 999, at least to me. I noticed your opening did not anchor us in a setting in the 250. I feel that the first 2 paragraphs of your 500 are extremely important in giving us a character in a setting with a problem.

I sat in a hard plastic hospital chair, fingers touching the book inside my jacket while I watched my father die. Dad rested in bed, eyes closed, lips grayish-blue. The room’s window was rimed in frost, streetlights illuminating patterns like stained glass in a chapel.

I ran my fingers along the binding of the collection of my poems. My lifelong secret; last chance to let Dad know. Becoming a poet had always been his dream, and I didn’t know if I could tell him.

[chuckt]

Well, I'd say the biggest difference I felt was the angst the son felt. There was a place in between where he almost tells Dad. Kinda like a try/fail cycle. I felt like that scene really added to the emotional impact of the piece.

[Wulf Moon]

Hi Moon,

Your 250 didn't have nearly the emotional impact of your 500 or 999, at least to me. I noticed your opening did not anchor us in a setting in the 250. I feel that the first 2 paragraphs of your 500 are extremely important in giving us a character in a setting with a problem.

I sat in a hard plastic hospital chair, fingers touching the book inside my jacket while I watched my father die. Dad rested in bed, eyes closed, lips grayish-blue. The room’s window was rimed in frost, streetlights illuminating patterns like stained glass in a chapel.

I ran my fingers along the binding of the collection of my poems. My lifelong secret; last chance to let Dad know. Becoming a poet had always been his dream, and I didn’t know if I could tell him.

Yes, setting will always be harmed by such a confined space to work in. It also proves too little setting is just as bad as too much. But for the 250 word space, I did as much as could be done while still telling the essence of this story. I had to cut somewhere, and non-critical details had to go.

And yes, Chuck, it's very hard to tell a meaningful story with try/fail cycles in 250 words. Vignettes tend to be tense, emotional scenes within a bigger tale.

There's still something in the other two longer pieces not in this 250. I came up with it after I won and expanded out. And I feel it's essential to the tale, and were I to rewrite the 250, I'd find a way to fit it in.

Let's see who can find it. It's another SUPER SECRET coming one day soon. And only play with the puzzle pieces if you've got your Q3 in. Don't get distracted from making the quarter. This exercise is meant to HELP you win, and that means get your entry IN!

All the beast,

Beastmaser Moon

[DoctorJest]

New fresh. 3 for 3, one more to go, and I think I already know what it will be. But first, to bed, perchance to not have to wake up for work in the morning...ahh, chance would be a fine thing. See you guys here for all the fun of the fourth Q.

[Corbin Maxwell]

Hi Moon,

Your 250 didn't have nearly the emotional impact of your 500 or 999, at least to me. I noticed your opening did not anchor us in a setting in the 250. I feel that the first 2 paragraphs of your 500 are extremely important in giving us a character in a setting with a problem.

I sat in a hard plastic hospital chair, fingers touching the book inside my jacket while I watched my father die. Dad rested in bed, eyes closed, lips grayish-blue. The room’s window was rimed in frost, streetlights illuminating patterns like stained glass in a chapel.

I ran my fingers along the binding of the collection of my poems. My lifelong secret; last chance to let Dad know. Becoming a poet had always been his dream, and I didn’t know if I could tell him.

Yes, setting will always be harmed by such a confined space to work in. It also proves too little setting is just as bad as too much. But for the 250 word space, I did as much as could be done while still telling the essence of this story. I had to cut somewhere, and non-critical details had to go.

And yes, Chuck, it's very hard to tell a meaningful story with try/fail cycles in 250 words. Vignettes tend to be tense, emotional scenes within a bigger tale.

There's still something in the other two longer pieces not in this 250. I came up with it after I won and expanded out. And I feel it's essential to the tale, and were I to rewrite the 250, I'd find a way to fit it in.

Let's see who can find it. It's another SUPER SECRET coming one day soon. And only play with the puzzle pieces if you've got your Q3 in. Don't get distracted from making the quarter. This exercise is meant to HELP you win, and that means get your entry IN!

All the beast,

Beastmaser Moon

I sat in the I.C.U. The chair hard plastic. Like a gravestone. A dog-eared book rested inside my jacket. Over my heart just in case. In the bed before me lay my father. Tubes and machines and all the stony faces. His lips blue like purple rouge. Vague shapes in the darkness. The doctor came in and briefed me. If his is not the word of god, then god never spoke.

Outside the hospital, the world lay beneath its frozen death where the trees give no shelter save a heap of broken images. “Are you alive or not. Is there nothing in your head.” And the moon peered down through the frosted windows like a gravedigger searching with a lamp. I had tried to tell my father. It had been his dream though. Never mine.

Into his ear, I said, “Oed’ und leer das meer.” And through his coma Dad smiled.

[RSchibler]

What is missing for me in the 250 of “The Poet” is the clearly stated promise/hook to the reader. In both the 500 and the 1000, there is the line “I didn’t know if I could tell him” and while the 250 dances around that idea, (I had never told him, I couldn’t tell him) it doesn’t make the reader question, lean forward in their seat, and clench their own fists. WILL the character tell dad is a much stronger hook, to me, than being told from the get go that he won’t, can’t, hasn’t, and never will. In your self-critique of the 500 of the piece, Wulf, you pointed out that the line is the reader promise, the undercurrent of the story. I think it’s missing in the 250. I also think “Last Words” is a much more poignant and appropriate title than “The Poet” because it is a sort of hook in itself. Finally, I felt like the opening of the other two grounded the reader much more quickly in the hospital with the dying dad, where in the 250 it was much further down in the story.

Good luck to everyone still editing and/or writing. You’ve got DAYS yet.

[Wulf Moon]

What is missing for me in the 250 of “The Poet” is the clearly stated promise/hook to the reader. In both the 500 and the 1000, there is the line “I didn’t know if I could tell him” and while the 250 dances around that idea, (I had never told him, I couldn’t tell him) it doesn’t make the reader question, lean forward in their seat, and clench their own fists. WILL the character tell dad is a much stronger hook, to me, than being told from the get go that he won’t, can’t, hasn’t, and never will. In your self-critique of the 500 of the piece, Wulf, you pointed out that the line is the reader promise, the undercurrent of the story. I think it’s missing in the 250. I also think “Last Words” is a much more poignant and appropriate title than “The Poet” because it is a sort of hook in itself. Finally, I felt like the opening of the other two grounded the reader much more quickly in the hospital with the dying dad, where in the 250 it was much further down in the story.

Good luck to everyone still editing and/or writing. You’ve got DAYS yet.

All good points, Becky. These are subtle things, but note how some wise edits--not total rewrites, just tiny tweaks--can make a story much stronger. I did realize I could up the tension (hook), by keeping the TOUGH CHOICE undecided until the very end. And I decided the original title was factual--readers would receive what it promised--but it was too bland, whereas with a change, I could up the tension before a reader even began to read, and also cue that this story would be a tragedy.

The beauty with more space as I expanded back up is that I could embellish the setting, and code it with symbols that would set tone for the ending. Less is more, but you need enough details to ground the reader in your environment so that they will be inspired to see your vision, without needlessly cluttering the scene. Novice writers will either not give enough setting, or will totally bloat their setting, giving so many extraneous details the story dies on delivery.

That said, this was an award-winning story even at 250 words in an international contest filled with pro writers. It took first for the week against 500-700 entries. It took Top 10 for the year against 26,000 to 30,000 total entries. It works. It did its job as a 250 word story. Had I done more scene setting, I would have had to take something else out, things necessary to establish both the relationship between father and son, the problem, and the powerful conclusion. The great thing was when I was asked to expand it and submit it to The Rose And Thorn, seeing my story so concentrated down to the essential elements really helped me identify my theme, and how I could strengthen my theme. When I expanded up, I had a clear map of what I needed to do to keep every word focused on that powerful ending. That is an advantage of this exercise. It's not just about cutting words.

There is still one thing everyone has missed so far that is not in the 250, but I discovered was essential when I expanded up. It is an important element to any story, and one we haven't talked about yet. I thought Becky for sure would catch it--she has a strong editor's eye. I will give you a clue, and it's from The Hero's Journey.

Magic sword.

Also, I have a reward for those of you that shared in this that meet the following qualifications: 1. You signed on and are listed on the SUPER SECRET Challenge roster, and, 2. You submitted a work to any of the three phases of this KILL YOUR DARLINGS: Economy of Words Exercise. It's the flash story that won grand prize for the year in this international competition. Private message me if you'd like to receive it.

As to Q3, you have until Midnight this Sunday to submit. My winner was subbed at 11:56 pm last day of the last quarter of the year. I don't recommend it, but do what you must to get a story in!

Cheers!

[vsutherland01]

In with a fresh Q3, one more to go.

[Wulf Moon]

In with a fresh Q3, one more to go.

Well done! Three fresh and one to go and challenge fulfilled!

And here's a motivator for all. "The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary."--Thomas Edison

[thegirlintheglasses]

I think...I think I've got your riddle Wulf. I'm thinking THE BOOK. I don't see it in the 250 version. And I'm thinking its existence makes it possible for him to PROVE what he's done. That makes the stakes higher. Maybe? Thinkin' out loud here.

[Wulf Moon]

I think...I think I've got your riddle Wulf. I'm thinking THE BOOK. I don't see it in the 250 version. And I'm thinking its existence makes it possible for him to PROVE what he's done. That makes the stakes higher. Maybe? Thinkin' out loud here.

Congratulations, Brittany! You solved my riddle, you won the prize!

The book of poetry in my story, "Last Words," serves the function of Excalibur in Arthurian legends. It's like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings. But my little flash story is not fantasy, so the book of poetry doesn't have magical power. Still, it is a tangible *thing of power*, something that symbolizes everything both the protagonist and antagonist seeks. It has the power to fulfill and to crush dreams at the same time, depending on who is carrying it, and how they choose to use it. Writing the 250 made me focus on the theme of the story, and made me realize I needed this tangible thing of power when I wrote the longer versions. The 500 and the 999 word story each are stronger because of it.

Congratulations for figuring it out! What's your prize? Well, I have no book of poetry to give you, and I'm fresh out of Felix Felicis (downed the whole vial before writing Moongirl). But you have won a copy of the priceless book on story, Writing to the Point by Algis Budrys! And if you apply it right, it will serve you even better than a bottle of liquid luck.

Well done!

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon

[thegirlintheglasses]

Congratulations, Brittany! You solved my riddle, you won the prize!

The book of poetry in my story, "Last Words," serves the function of Excalibur in Arthurian legends. It's like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings. But my little flash story is not fantasy, so the book of poetry doesn't have magical power. Still, it is a tangible *thing of power*, something that symbolizes everything both the protagonist and antagonist seeks. It has the power to fulfill and to crush dreams at the same time, depending on who is carrying it, and how they choose to use it. Writing the 250 made me focus on the theme of the story, and made me realize I needed this tangible thing of power when I wrote the longer versions. The 500 and the 999 word story each are stronger because of it.

Congratulations for figuring it out! What's your prize? Well, I have no book of poetry to give you, and I'm fresh out of Felix Felicis (downed the whole vial before writing Moongirl). But you have won a copy of the priceless book on story, Writing to the Point by Algis Budrys! And if you apply it right, it will serve you even better than a bottle of liquid luck.

Well done!

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon

Just wanted to use this sign lol! But yay! Thanks so much--I'm so excited to read Mr. Budrys' secrets. Hopefully I can make my own Felix Felicis after reading it ;)

And wow, that makes a lot of sense about the "thing of power". Having an object that symbolizes something can evoke emotion whenever the character interacts with the thing. So we feel something as he's touching the book--or when he says how the "book weighed heavy in my pocket". It DOES evoke something more than reading, do I or don't I. It's a literal choice to use the book--his thing of power--to show his dad, or not. Now I'm sitting here trying to think of my 'item of power' in my last few stories and in others... I think last lines that refer to the 'thing of power' can have a TON of impact because the meaning behind it isn't spelled out. The reader feels it. At least, that's what I'm thinking anyways.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge, Wulf. I'm learning SO MUCH!!!!

[Wulf Moon]

Congratulations, Brittany! You solved my riddle, you won the prize!

The book of poetry in my story, "Last Words," serves the function of Excalibur in Arthurian legends. It's like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings. But my little flash story is not fantasy, so the book of poetry doesn't have magical power. Still, it is a tangible *thing of power*, something that symbolizes everything both the protagonist and antagonist seeks. It has the power to fulfill and to crush dreams at the same time, depending on who is carrying it, and how they choose to use it. Writing the 250 made me focus on the theme of the story, and made me realize I needed this tangible thing of power when I wrote the longer versions. The 500 and the 999 word story each are stronger because of it.

Congratulations for figuring it out! What's your prize? Well, I have no book of poetry to give you, and I'm fresh out of Felix Felicis (downed the whole vial before writing Moongirl). But you have won a copy of the priceless book on story, Writing to the Point by Algis Budrys! And if you apply it right, it will serve you even better than a bottle of liquid luck.

Well done!

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon

Just wanted to use this sign lol! But yay! Thanks so much--I'm so excited to read Mr. Budrys' secrets. Hopefully I can make my own Felix Felicis after reading it ;)

And wow, that makes a lot of sense about the "thing of power". Having an object that symbolizes something can evoke emotion whenever the character interacts with the thing. So we feel something as he's touching the book--or when he says how the "book weighed heavy in my pocket". It DOES evoke something more than reading, do I or don't I. It's a literal choice to use the book--his thing of power--to show his dad, or not. Now I'm sitting here trying to think of my 'item of power' in my last few stories and in others... I think last lines that refer to the 'thing of power' can have a TON of impact because the meaning behind it isn't spelled out. The reader feels it. At least, that's what I'm thinking anyways.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge, Wulf. I'm learning SO MUCH!!!!

You're welcome, Brittany. Keep up the good work. I trust the book will help toward that end.

Just for fun to the group, what was the thing of power, my Excalibur, in "Super-Duper Moongirl..."? Because it's definitely there....

Get those stories in! You have one more day! And if the system locks you out, send an immediate email to Joni with your story attached. She is very understanding and will get you in.

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon

[chuckt]

Ha ha. The "I won" sign was a bit of a trigger. I thought Q2 results were out for half a second. Nevermind, that it made no sense at all that someone would be saying I won at this point.

[JVAshley]

Ha ha. The "I won" sign was a bit of a trigger. I thought Q2 results were out for half a second. Nevermind, that it made no sense at all that someone would be saying I won at this point.

Me Too, Chuck!

New fresh. 3 for 3, one more to go, and I think I already know what it will be. But first, to bed, perchance to not have to wake up for work in the morning...ahh, chance would be a fine thing. See you guys here for all the fun of the fourth Q.

I hope chance was in your favor, Doc.

I too am in with a Fresh in Q3 = 3 for 3
And thanks Wulf for "The Thing of Power" lesson.

[Wulf Moon]

Glad to see many checking in with FRESH STORIES submitted for Q3!

May the Force be with you!

And for the rest: tick, tock, tick, tock, the ship is about to leave the dock!

Get 'em in before midnight tomorrow. You can do a lot with a day and a half.

And then, be sure to make our official notary's job easier for the CHALLENGE BEAST ROSTER by posting here after you've submitted.

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon

[storysinger]

I'm in with a fresh story that I subbed with minimal editing. Not saying its great or anything but I can't believe the way it came out.
This whole idea of writing in the moment is way beyond cool. I'm loving every minute of it .

[michaeljwyantjr]

In with a fresh Q3 story.

Phew.

[einstein36]

I submitted mine...already working on next quarter entry and it's going to be 'super duper' :)

[RSchibler]

Just for fun to the group, what was the thing of power, my Excalibur, in "Super-Duper Moongirl..."? Because it's definitely there....

I am tired from a writing conference all weekend, but I just re-read the story and my guess is that it's the dog. He's right there at the beginning of the story, he drives the plot, he's certainly Dixie's thing of power. It seems a little obvious, given the title and all, but you could have told a story about a girl with a medical robot and it wouldn't have the same impact without the emotional relationship to the object. Elsewhere you mentioned the diary in Indiana Jones as fitting this bill - and it occurred to me that it isn't just the information contained in the diary that makes it special to the audience and the characters (just like it's not just Moon Dawdler's medical abilities that make him special to Dixie), it's the history and emotional power the object is granted by the story. Anyway, that's my guess.

[Megan]

In for Q 3 with a fresh story. I'm happy I had this challenge to push me to submit! I'm not certain if I would have made it in without it.

[thegirlintheglasses]

Just subbed. Always at the last minute this girl.... and I'm updating the list :)

[thegirlintheglasses]

Fresh blood drip-th on the cave wall. Three down, final story to goooooooooooo!

I'm looking for Q3 from these:

Milominderbinder Q1-F Q2-F
TimE Q1-F Q2-F
AnikeKristen Q1-F Q2-F
Storysinger Q1-F Q2-F
Dragonchef Q1-F Q2-F
LittleRed Q1-F Q2-F

These have reported:

JVAshely Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
DoctorJest Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
Disgruntledpeony Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
Vsutherland01 Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
AjZach Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
Megan Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
ChuckT Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F

The Three Quarter Challenge
----------------------------------
And all of these have reported as well:

RShibler Q1-C Q2-F Q3-F
SCAFontaine Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F
Michealjwyantjr Q1-C Q2-F Q3-F
KDJulicher Q1-C Q2-F Q3-F
thegirlintheglasses Q1-F Q2-F Q3-F


Either PM me to report or just remind me again here. I'm human. I miss stuff. And this thread is getting awful full lol.

[MiloMinderbinder]

I submitted for the 3rd Quarter.

[LittleRed]

Q3 entry in with new story.

Posted my sub a few days ago (see above)

[JVAshley]

Either PM me to report or just remind me again here. I'm human. I miss stuff. And this thread is getting awful full lol.

You are an awesome human!
Thanks for all the work!

[Wulf Moon]

In for Q 3 with a fresh story. I'm happy I had this challenge to push me to submit! I'm not certain if I would have made it in without it.

I am very happy to hear that it helped, Megan. I know setting this challenge for myself helped me to win. That's why I set it up for all of you.

Best of success on your Q3. Now forget about it and go write your Q4.

All the beast!

Wulf Moon

[Wulf Moon]

In for Q 3 with a fresh story. I'm happy I had this challenge to push me to submit! I'm not certain if I would have made it in without it.

I am very happy to hear that it helped, Megan. I know setting this challenge for myself helped me to win. That's why I set it up for all of you.

Best of success on your Q3. Now forget about it and go write your Q4.

All the beast!

Wulf Moon

[Wulf Moon]

Just for fun to the group, what was the thing of power, my Excalibur, in "Super-Duper Moongirl..."? Because it's definitely there....

I am tired from a writing conference all weekend, but I just re-read the story and my guess is that it's the dog. He's right there at the beginning of the story, he drives the plot, he's certainly Dixie's thing of power. It seems a little obvious, given the title and all, but you could have told a story about a girl with a medical robot and it wouldn't have the same impact without the emotional relationship to the object. Elsewhere you mentioned the diary in Indiana Jones as fitting this bill - and it occurred to me that it isn't just the information contained in the diary that makes it special to the audience and the characters (just like it's not just Moon Dawdler's medical abilities that make him special to Dixie), it's the history and emotional power the object is granted by the story. Anyway, that's my guess.

Nice try, Becky, and you're the only one that's tried so far to figure out this riddle--so good on you--but no. The Excalibur in "Super-Duper Moongirl..." was not Moon Dawdler. He was her mentor (just say no to drinking and drugs), even her comedic sidekick at times, but he was not her Excalibur.

Because I watched The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies tonight, I'll show you the thing of power in the story Peter Jackson modified from The Hobbit. Yes, the One Ring is there, but it doesn't become the "thing of power that can change their world" until we get to Lord of the Rings. For the Lake Town storyline, the hero was Bard, and the thing of power was the black arrow. Only the black arrow could save them from the dragon, and only if it could be wielded properly. As it turns out, Bard wrestled with his family history, bravely faced the dragon, fired the one black arrow, hit his mark and saved his world. His thing of power, his Excalibur, his "magic sword," saved him and his family. Note how it was set up ahead of time that these black arrows were precioius, that they were the only things powerful enough to kill a dragon, that there was only one left, and that Bard had one, hidden away.

For the Erebor storyline, what was this "thing of power?" The Arkenstone. It confered power to rule all dwarves upon the king that possessed it. It was so powerful, Thorin went mad trying to find it, and Bilbo stole it and used it to sue for peace. Additionally, Bilbo's decision to use it cost him dearly--he lost Thorin's friendship. Often, but not always, using the thing of power is like that. Its use usually comes with a price.

"Super-Duper Moongirl..." is not an epic tale. But Dixie in my story does have her Excalibur.

See if you can find it.

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon

[Wulf Moon]

And a hearty WELL DONE to all you challenge beasties that submitted FRESH STORIES for Q3, and also helped Brittany get your names on the WALL OF FAME! This is how you do it! You are on the path! Keep up the good work, and keep making good work!

For Q4, I'm going to be rolling out more SUPER SECRETS to help you win. First, I'll sum up the Flash exercise we did, giving it its own Super Secret, and then we'll move on.

But I am hereby throwing you a bonus challenge for Q4. Take it if you dare! Write TWO fresh stories for Q4, and select your best to submit. I already gave this challenge to one of you for Q3, and lo and behold, the challenge beastie did it! I saw the story, too. It's a real contender.

All because two stories were written, instead of one.

You can do it too. Three months is plenty of time to write two stories, and this is your last chance to win next year's workshop and gala.

How bad do you want it?

All the beast,

Beastmaster Moon